


what you were

by books_and_spite



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
Genre: Angst and Feels, Blind Character, Brother-Sister Relationships, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Firefighters, Firestarters, Gen, Morally Ambiguous Character, Sibling Bonding, certainly not me :), firestarter august!!!, vfd, who's creating incredibly niche content?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/books_and_spite/pseuds/books_and_spite
Summary: Two siblings discuss VFD and their allegiances. They don't end up on the same side.
Relationships: August Sader & Evelyn Sader, August Sader & Leonora Lesso (mentioned)
Kudos: 5





	what you were

August Sader is waiting.

He has been sitting by the bench near the Fountain of Victorious Finance for a long while, now. People walk by, thumping on the ground, their footsteps quickly lost in the sea of commuters who flood this area, every hour. Occasionally someone pauses at the fountain; to drink, water tinkling as they scoop it up, to rest, stretching and sighing, to talk awhile. Occasionally someone sits next to him as they withdraw from the bustling madness of the City.

He gets stares. He can feel them, staring at him, even if he cannot see them; the young man lounging on the bench, holding a white cane, hair tied in a long, sweeping ponytail, quite obviously out of place. Manley says that garishly bright fashion is _in,_ now. Judging by his loud cackle when August left Headquarters, his suit could not be further from it. 

And of course, his eyes. The scars can disturb people, he is told. 

He is so _tired_ of trying to please everyone, so tired of being good and true and honourable even when no one ever understands him.

That is part of the reason he joined the firestarters. He has simply stopped caring for what people think of him; if he seems eccentric, so be it. The firestarters will accept him as he is, quiet August, clever, knowing, silver-tongued August. They will let him _be who he is._

The firefighters pushed him too far too fast, and they have broken a part of him that he knows he will never get back. They tried to _force_ him into a mold, to force him to learn how to move and fight when he _couldn't,_ to make him perfect and kind and gentle and _noble._

They succeeded, for a time, and he hates them for it. 

He misses his friends, of course; Emma Anemone and Aleksander Lukas and Rumi Espada, even whiny, idiotic Pollux. And Clarissa, Clarissa Dovey his best friend, who has _always_ stood by him. But Leonora is with him, at least. Leonora, or Lesso, or just L, who is hurting just as much from having to leave Clarissa, who she loved and still loves. They reminisce together, often. Neither of them has decided to go back to their friends, yet, though August knows both of them are dangerously close to breaking.

They are doing so much evil and they have left everyone behind, just for a taste of freedom and wildness and _emotion._

But if she does not want him- he will not go, and neither will Leonora.

And so he waits.

He does not know how long he has been waiting when she finally approaches him.

She is a rustle of silk and satin, and she is the familiar smell of lavender perfume, and _oh_ he has missed her so greatly since he left. He smiles as she sits, warmly and sincerely, the kind of smile no one has been able to coax out of him other than her. The kind of smile he left behind. Or thought he did.

It's funny how she can still comfort him, even if they are on opposing sides.

There is a moment of silence. Then another.

August waits; that is his life, after all. 

When she finally deigns to speak, her voice is quiet, barely a whisper.

"It's good to see you again, brother dear," she says. 

"You as well, Evelyn," he replies calmly.

Evelyn Sader leans back, the bench creaking as she moves. "Get to the point, August," she says. "Why did you want me to come here? What _reason_ do you have?"

 _Don't lie to me,_ is left unsaid. 

Well, that hurts. All the more because it _is_ a completely valid concern; he has told her more lies than anyone should ever tell.

"Nothing," he says, genuinely. "I just wanted to meet you again." Softer: "I have missed you, you know."

"...so have I," she admits, quietly. There were _issues,_ between them, for a time; Evelyn had been so terribly jealous that her younger brother was so much more loved than her, considered special because of his blindness (he had hated it too), and August had been so terribly hateful that Evelyn didn't have to force it and fake a smile, that she could _see._

They fixed it. They _fixed it._

And then August was pushed too far and he left his sister, the only person who had loved him for so long. 

The freedom was not worth it.

And with all the evils they really did? He was regretting his decision very much. 

"So," Evelyn spoke again. "You want to talk."

She pauses. "What about?"

"I am trying to convince myself to leave the firestarters," August replies, "and I need your justification or else I will never be brave enough to." 

_The sad truth is, the truth is sad._

The quote materializes in his head- something one of his associates said, perhaps. The truth is sad. Lies are beautiful.

Is he lying to himself?

Evelyn sighs softly and presses her hand over his, her touch warm over his shaky grip on his cane. "...the thing is, August… is it really that bad?"

_"What?"_

His sister had always been a believer in the noble side of VFD. She had always been an advocate of its goodness. It was why he had gone to her, and not Clarissa; he knew, on some level, that she would have encouraged him to join her like he wanted her to.

He had not expected _that_.

He is starting to realise, after their fights, after this, that maybe he does not know Evelyn as well as he thinks.

She elaborates as he tilts his head in confusion. "What is so bad about them, really? The firestarters are wild, and free, and the only thing bad about them is that they commit crimes. And the firefighters do that as well."

"But-" August starts.

"Listen to me," she cuts him off. "They kidnap children- _infants-_ from their homes. They murder people for the so-called _greater good_ but the greater good never comes, they lie and they cheat and they steal. What's so good about the firefighters? Order? When has that ever been _good?"_

August runs a hand through his hair in agitation. No. This is not how he wanted it to go. "Both sides are equally bad, but the end results of the firefighters' actions are noble. The only thing that the firestarters work for is personal gain and it's not _right."_

It's not _fair,_ it's not _right,_ and he wants no part of it because he cannot stop seeing himself. He and Evelyn, whose mansion was burned down when they were children. But she seems to think otherwise.

"Oh, August," Evelyn says. "It's kill or be killed. When has the world ever been right?"

She laughs, bitterly. "At least the firestarters are honest about it. At least they are open about the _chaos_ in them. And I am so _tired_ of order."

"You have thought this through," August observes carefully. "At great length."

"This is my life. Of course I did. If I'm going to join them I want to know what I will have to do," Evelyn tells him.

"So. You're joining me. Them," he says, hollowly, because even though his sister is joining him how can he be happy with the firestarters? 

_This is not the right path,_ something tells him. He can envision it; hatred and slaughter and friends turned bitter enemies. How could he ever fight Clarissa? 

_The right path is Good,_ his mind whispers. 

"Say hello to Leonora for me."

"You're leaving," Evelyn notes. She sighs softly, again. "I suppose this is goodbye, then, August."

"I suppose it is," he replies, and waits as Evelyn stands up to leave.

She brushes her hand against his cheek, in a familiar gesture of casual affection, and then hesitates- presses a kiss to his forehead.

"Goodbye, brother," she tells him, and then she is gone.

He does not move for a long time afterwards, until finally he grips his cane firm, stands up, and starts making his way to the original VFD headquarters.

* * *

The next time they meet, she is setting a fire and he is putting it out. 

She has never seemed so alive, so vibrant, and it is as if she was born for this kind of life.

He fights her, cane-sword against dagger.

She lets him win. She runs away. She says nothing of regret.

When he gets back to Headquarters, he cries for a long time afterwards. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it! sorry if my portrayal of august isn't right; this is my first time writing a blind character, so if you have anything to say, let me know and i'll try to fix it!


End file.
